Stuff and Guff

Feeling particulary onery and cantankerous after the Chemistry Common Test. My first series of exams in Singapore, in fact my first exam since June 5th 2008 - more than a year ago! - is not off to a good start at all.

The day started off on a good enough note, because I slacked the morning away reading through urban-farm blogs - very enjoyable, even if learning about goat calving isn't particularly beneficial to chemistry whatsover, as compared to what I was doing for the majority of yesterday, which was revising chemistry.

On my way to school at about 12.25pm (the exam being at 1pm), I spontaneously remembered that experimental planning would be tested and that I have neither revised experimental planning, nor have I any sort of hand at it. In fact, my single practice experimental planning wasn't even marked because, I suspect, beloved LCK gave up on it.

However there was nothing to be done for it as I was already on the bus with a shoebag in hand, containing only my wallet, pencil case and calculator.

Mucked around in school for awhile, all the while getting hotter, sweatier and more bothered, until they opened the doors of the aircon-ed MPH and I entered with gratitude!

Before the paper, I noticed someone's fleecey baby pink jacket in front of me and thought it would make a good 'destress-er' if I looked at it every now and then during the exam. Soft fluffy things are good for the eye and soothing to the imagination. A few minutes later proved me wrong, as I realized that finishing the paper would be a bigger problem than relaxing myself enough to think properly.

It wasn't that the questions were particularly hard, it was more like a lack of time to sort out all the concepts. I got confused over whether ionic energy increases or decreases across the period, erasing my graph 4 times! - and I also happened to draw a diagram with a basin, a gas tube and an inverted measuring cylinder when all they required was a gas collecting syringe.

The epiphany, when my eyes alighted on the words 'gas syringe', which I had until now not registered, was something along the lines of "aahhhh...so desu ne..."

I wasted precious time doing stupid things, like wondering whether to write 'radon fluoride' or 'RnF' because I wasn't sure that RnF was Radon fluoride, and measuring out my ionisation energy graph, and cursing my hb pencil and my non existent eraser, and you know, here and there my mind would just amble off for a leisurely stroll in Wonderland and leave me up to my nose in PtF6, whatever the cow that is.

The end result of it all, as I reflected while waiting for bus 55 to arrive - incidentally it sped by as I walked to the bus stop, leaving me to stew in the terrible heat for another 15 or so minutes - is a lamentable excuse for an answer script that, with so many skipped questions they are rather like a post transcripted pre translated mRNA, with the exons excised out but no time to splice the introns together, and hence disjointed and deplorably fragmented.

And then, having no time to finish the paper off is like leaving an mRNA without a poly AAA tail; just the way teachers are chopping marks away by the dozen, the lousy mRNA is getting degraded by ribonucleases.

You see? I have my bio down pat. Whether I'll have time to prove this on Thursday, is anyone's guess...though as Shaun says, CTs are 15% of something that don't matter.

Me : Did you finish the paper?
Elang : Nah.
Me : Really? Where did you complete it to?
Elang : The last sub question of the last question. It was...hm. Two marks?

(I'd insert a picture of the Sun but blogger refuses to cooperate. It would probably burn the readers' eyes! Damn, but I do have a nice picture!)

Stuff and guff! Now I wish I could have said that.

Finished!

Great! I have ONE day to go, and I've just realised I can't finish studying! Damn!

Mission Accomplished! Part 1

Our Project Work trip to KL was lazily enjoyble, hardly a frolicsome affair; given the burnout experienced by MJ on account of consecutive late nights, out resident Crazy Woman hit the sack at approximately 8.30pm every night (or anytime after dinner).

The first day saw a successful introduction between my friends to the Parents; Dogtor demanded in frantic whispers about whether the Father was as strict as he looked, after which he proceeded to conduct himself in a manner almost worthy of a diplomat. It helped that he'd hissed MJ's verbal explosions into silence a couple of times, and that his words were just gravid with geniality. It would have been rather repugnant but for the fact that Dogtor did help to break the ice. I couldn't help sniggering at the other two whenever our eyes met - it was that odd!

Upon realizing ZY had never before eaten a mangosteen, we all pressed one on him; he didn't open it so much as crush the husk to pulp in his hands, leaving a goopy white and purple mess for him to stare blankly at.

We smiled condescendingly.

The day wore on as we lazed around in my room. MJ accepted her delegated bed with better grace than I'd predicted, seeing as how the bedsheets were pink and white and decorated with lacy pink floral rosettes.

Some people have abominable tastes. We hung around listlessly as Dogtor described several hilarious instances in his Pre U Sem group members. Something along the lines of a wedgie provoked a fight between ZY and the Dog. I'd like to say there was an all out brawl involving blood, foul language and a violently gay shag after, but that's for Shaun to write, replete with all the nitty gritty - what really happened was that ZY dragged the Dog into a few judo choking positions, each more lewd than the last, while MJ and I spectated from the sidelines and egged them on.

Sadly, no memorable photos. Details can be given upon request, especially if you are Shaun or Elang.

Following this we went out for a steamboat dinner. The Parents continued with the usual smalltalk regarding future careers, a question to which I have never provided a satisfactory answer - well, they just had to point that out to me again. Muchos appreciatos...not.

With the Parents around, the Dog was again remarkably well behaved, if a little jumpy, and happily oblivious to ZY, MJ's and my whispered comments about the change in mannerisms.

One of the dishes was a meatball filled with liquid, which Dogtor bit into, and with typical finesse, the juice squirted out halfway across the table to hit the Mother and I.

Later, ZY obliged Dogtor's request to share his drink by pouring some into his cup.

"Victor, is that enough?"

"Yes, thanks. I'm satisfied with whatever you give me, master."

MJ and I share a laugh, while ZY looks entirely bemused, the Dog exasperated, and the Parents, probably puzzled by the Dog's last word, gave us concerned looks.

On the car ride back, MJ falls asleep and Dog and I take turns to poke ZY for the fun of watching him writhe around.

The Father : "So, ZY..."

ZY : Ye (I ran a finger down his spine) -AAHH!? (he goes from a hunch to ramrod straight, and turns around to glare at me laughing.)

The Father : (asks a question)

ZY : Yes, - ah!- but actually -tsk!!- it's more of like -oi!!- Both of you!!

Yep, it was all very good fun especially because ZY spent the rest of the journey holding his sides and fuming in the middle seat while we whispered and poked away. He did retaliate on Dogtor towards the end, and with him leaning over Dog in the dark, they were in a rather suggestive position - complete with ZY growling, the Dog's bucking up and laughing rather wheezily. It was all very surreal and all that, and I'm sure Shaun would have made a complete farce out of it if he had seen it...and apparently, Dog had completely thrown all caution to the wind because my parents were just infront, listening and wondering at our state of pervasion...

Upon reaching home, we sprawled around once again pigging out on whatever food we'd bought from the pasar malam (keropok for MJ, peanut kaya cake for ZY), then MJ fell asleep (again) and ZY subjected us all to terrible JJ Lin music from his laptop.

"My favourite singer! He's so talented!" exclaims the cheenapukit dodo.

Later we went downstairs for hilarious gaming on Dog's phone.

= Commence Tap Tap = ZY starts groovin to the music, and his head bops up and down -

-"Tap tap! Tap tap! Gonna get the highscore gonna get the highscore highscore gonna gonna get the highscore highscore gonna get the high score gonna get the highscore gonna gonna..." - his fingers start galloping like a two legged horse in time to his movements.

= Commence Tap-of-War = Dogtor calmly and coolly drills the phone screen with his finger, barely lifting his finger half an inch of the screen each time.

ZY, whose fingers are far from nimble, insists on using force to make up for a lack of dexterity; the result is that he sledgehammers the screen with one finger the entire way, in tune to the Dog's aggrieved protests against phone-screen abuse.

= Commence Ice Hockey =

The only game which the Dog lost to ZY.

Dog : "WHAT! Where did that hole come from! The thing just go in like that..." (Does anyone else see the implications? xD) = curse swear mutter =

ZY : "Whoohoooo!! Oh-Kayy! Let's Go!! (Disturbingly reminiscent of Hard Gay!!)"

Second day :

I woke up at 6am and crossly realised that ZY had locked our door to the adjoining room, so I could either use the toilet two levels down or access ours through his room. Reluctant to kill my eyes with the sight of any one of them sleeping in the nude, I opted for the former, then went back to sleep.

Woke again at 8am to the scent of my mom cosseting her guests - fried eggs for breakfast, from the smell, and the voices of the Dog and my mom in cahoots - they were discussing me!!! I contemplated stomping down in self righteous anger, but decided to stay where I was and drop eaves on those wily twits.

Later, when all of us were assembled downstairs for breakfast (Roti John! such novelty!), my mom asked whether we wanted to go out that day.

Me : "I don't think so...we'll just go out for dinner at Sakae later...we'll stay at home and do work today..."

MJ and the dog started caterwhauling immediately - they'll be too bored, they'll die, they want to go shopping, they want to go kino, etc etc.

"No la, we can do that tomorrow!" I say.

ZY : "Let's do work." And that settled that.

My mom nodded approvingly at our faux studiousness.

Well, we managed to get some stuff done, at least until MJ and I hijacked ZY's laptop to drool over a Final Fantasy AMV featuring Within Temptation's 'Hand of Sorrow' - first class stuff, featuring drop dead gorgeous scenes of Vincent Valentine.

Could anyone look better? The giant golden claw makes him even cooler.

However, ZY was insulted that we'd snatched the laptop away while he was rewatching a JJ Lin performance, so he made fun of the song lyrics. MJ and I ignored him while we fangirled away.

All likeminded Valentine fans, search for "Final Fantasy Hand of Sorrow" by Darklordofdebate on Youtube.

Anyway, we ordered Dominoes pizza for lunch, and thank goodness they'd run out of the Dogtor's requested-for 'triple cheese mania' - I mean, that's so dog-like.

We went back to work and I promptly fell asleep in front of the computer, waking up to the Dog's "Emdog, you still awake?"

-Wakes up- "Yes of course!"

They looked over, saw me sprawled supine on the floor, and started laughing. Well, it was very musty...anyway my dad returned from work with a haul of durians, which we went out to eat along with other of my mom's victuals.

Durian FTW!

ZY and the Dogtor each opened a durian, and the Dogtor's remained stubbornly closed at first. Dogtor tried forcing it open sitting down, then stood up to gain more leverage.

Wasn't enough - Dog leaned forward on his tiptoes.

My Aunt : That's it, boy...use your strength!

ZY : Strength? More like weight...ten kg!

MJ starts laughing, and the Dogtor, having successfully pried the durian open, offers it around...then sticks the now empty shell into ZY's kneecap.

ZY : (mimics the Dog) Come on, triglycerides - let's go! -tiptoes- OUCH!

Yes loads of fun there, followed by the long awaited shopping spree to Bangsar Village at about 6pm.

MJ whinged continously about the high end brands in the shopping center, while ZY and Dog browsed the shops in search of formal wear. By my divine recommendation, they looked into Padini and started trying on shirts.

Both of them decided on the same shirt, though in different sizes (more Dog bashing by ZY there.)

There were some cool shots, though they actually look better in real life. Well, one does, if not the other.

Is it just me, or does the Dog look a little like a turtle? xD

Some computer pro please help me photoshop my hand out of there!

What transpired while ZY was deciding between a black or a white shirt:

MJ : I think he looks better in the white!

Me : I think he looks better in the black!

the Dogtor : I know what looks the best! (unbuttons ZY's shirt to the second button)

ZY : Eh!

Too bad I wasn't fast enough to snap a picture!!

Oh well.

Dang this blogging thing is tiring ain't it...I shall need to do continue later!

Next up : Part 2 - Featuring ZY's orgasmic expressions and the Dog's ass grabbing exploits! Till then, folks!

All together

O beloved 10s03N! The greatest blessing in many years!

Kevin : Why does Mei Jia have such a murderous look in her eye?
Mei Jia : It's because your hand is on my shoulder! That violates code number 107 section 3 line 4: NO TOUCHY TOUCHY
Kevin : Think again, one hand from Zan and the other from Elang. You should be worried about burns!
Elang : Wtv Kevin, you can come back and frame me when I have two right hands.

Different kinds of dirty

There are several ways to write, show, talk or otherwise make known your views about matters sexual and explicit. These I shall broadly catagorize and describe, according to my own opinions, in no particular order of merit :

1. Art - Whereby any sort of nudity or intercourse is elevated to a gift from God as a beautiful and cherished means of intimate knowledge and love-making. It is captured in image or language for the appreciation and edification of man, and comes attached with values or implications such as marriage, unconditional love, sacrifice, even religion. There is a clear difference between the 'black' and 'white' of sex, black pertaining to all things mundane and boorishly human (such as prostitution). It's all rather noble and refined, pompously and piously so, to the extent of being idealistic.

2. Porn - Lacking any sort of emotion or morality, this occurs in the form of alleviating (or arousing, as according to the scenario) sexual desire, by means of substandard videos, graphic descriptions or drawings or just talking about it. It is a very physical and need-of-the-moment kind of thing, after which we leave off to continue our lives as per usual.

3. Fantasy - Abundant and ubiquitous in the life of adolecents and adults, it includes fanfiction, fanart, fan-girling, innuendos and most of things (RA)ted that find their way into our thoughts. These things are dirty but amusing ideas we have that we put to words or paper. The side of us that craves scandal and spectacle is suitably provoked by fantasy, but it is seldom a manifestation of actual physical need. (When push comes to shove, nobody in 10S03N would even want to kiss anyone else, despite all the between-the-sheets jokes. The same goes for fanfiction. Right?) Fantasy, in my opinion, can be highly interesting and enjoyable if done with skill, tact and innovation.

Final Fantasy VII (Sephiroth/Cloud)

See what I mean? Nicely done. (Not that I support this pairing.)

Historical symbols, legends and figures do play an important part in conveying hidden sexual meanings. It always adds depth to a story; even if one lacks the knowledge, a cleverly placed pun or innuendo is always comical without being too crude. The classier the innuendo, the more creative the pun, the better. As far as 10s03N goes, we're still in this catergory. Shaun does filthy with style.

Then again, MJ and Dogtor are borderlining the edge of ero-fantasy into trash.

4. Trash - My dumping ground for ridiculously unrealistic scenarios and/or prowess in the characters make for repugnating, offensive and nausea inducing stories. Includes trashy chicklit, chickflicks, romance novels, badly written fanfiction, and hideously vulgar descriptions. Enough said.

5. Scientifically speaking - Ah, I nearly forgot, and me a biology student! Well, looking at things from a purely educational or research oriented point of view, we are reminded that lust, desire and love are all products of electric charges along long white stringy things known as nerves, or a mixture of chemical hormones and pheromones. Makes me want to delf deeper and deeper into the workings of the medulla oblongata and the hypothalamus, and even the curiously unhinging thought that all these electrical impulses, cellular 'wires' (nerves) and systematic ongoings make us very, very, very alike to robots, appeals to my preference for 'natural equality' - I disagree that mankind be elevated to the pedestal of 'divine animal' or what not. We exhibit animalistic enough qualities in everyday life. The athletic, the attractive and the wealthy are hardly different from the meanest male baboons with the most enlarged crimson butt and the largest harem of females. Back to the original topic, yes; again, science requires detailed knowledge of sex for the noble quest of knowledge and development.

And hence, ladies and gentleman, we are all living in a world where sex is inherrent and omni-present. Barricading ourselves in a microcosm of innocence and naivete does keep you free of immoral influence, but it's hardly a practical solution, is it?

Food

I've always had a love hate relationship with food.

Just so.

The moon is bright tonight,
Unusually bright.
There it reclines, a jewel in its velvet shrine,
Paragon of dreams.