Dear all! I have finally sickened of blogspot's hidous dashboard, this blog has finally been moved to a better looking one! please look to
ofruinsandarednightfall.wordpress.com.
Thank you!
Monday, September 7, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Free time in term three comes little and less, and I find myself neglecting this darling Medusa of a blog to make time for the chi-chi activities of the hoity-toity. I mean, I have just cancelled lunch with Mr President; after all, it is important that I look beautiful for the Shangri La date tonight with He Who Should Not Be Named.
One takes an entire afternoon to achieve perfect serenity of the mind, which in turn confers Poise and Confidence in High Heels and a Pearl Necklace. The usual spa-massage-facial-manicure-hairstyling, my very much approved of five pronged approach to self glorification. Pooh-pooh my routine not, for I find it a necessary response to the stress of today, and recovery enough from the toils of being a tai-tai (you know, the usual tiresome chore of colour coding your clothes and accessories. Diamond or emerald? Cerulean or jade green?)
Angelique balm from Sephora would do very nicely, I think, and of course the Olive and Lavender bath from L'Oocitane will rejuvenate my complexion nicely; (I spot a few blackheads!) and Lunatic Fringe Hair Promade will do justice to my exquisite curls. Ah, ...all so I am presented most radiantly and perfectly to my Knight in Suit and Tie, Shining Armour being rather clunky and obselete in this day and age.
One takes an entire afternoon to achieve perfect serenity of the mind, which in turn confers Poise and Confidence in High Heels and a Pearl Necklace. The usual spa-massage-facial-manicure-hairstyling, my very much approved of five pronged approach to self glorification. Pooh-pooh my routine not, for I find it a necessary response to the stress of today, and recovery enough from the toils of being a tai-tai (you know, the usual tiresome chore of colour coding your clothes and accessories. Diamond or emerald? Cerulean or jade green?)
Angelique balm from Sephora would do very nicely, I think, and of course the Olive and Lavender bath from L'Oocitane will rejuvenate my complexion nicely; (I spot a few blackheads!) and Lunatic Fringe Hair Promade will do justice to my exquisite curls. Ah, ...all so I am presented most radiantly and perfectly to my Knight in Suit and Tie, Shining Armour being rather clunky and obselete in this day and age.
...No? I guess not. Such a tragedy is imagination.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Hemidactylus frenatus
What a perfect farce. Here I am, sweaty, sticky and stinking to high heaven, with an aircon room behind me and bathroom in front of me, and yet I cannot bathe, because there is a lizard behind the door of the toilet.
Yes, is it not totally hilarious, the way the Hemidactylus frenatus, known as the House Gecko, or just a normal lizard, such a tiny, ubiquitous little critter drives me to my knees, gut pulverizingly ugly as they are? From the beady black eyes, like caviar (black fish roe) bloated from inner decay, to skin the colour of bread mould, to the tapered bald tail, and worst of all that jerking side to side gait when they move, everything about the house lizard screams repugnant, nauseatingly hideous. I'm not sure of this innate loathing for the apparently friendly mosquito eating house pest, but it could stem from the baby black lizard that dropped onto my shoulder and crawled all the way down my arm when I was a kid. Once bitten, twice shy...or in this case, once scared, forever terrified.
Back, and I've never felt more like a fool armed with a bottle of fly insecticide and a rolled up wad of newspaper in each hand, standing outside the toilet, debating whether or not to whack outside the door - what if I chase the lizard further into the toilet? - or to spray it with the insecticide - what if the insecticide, which is not meant for lizards anyway, proves ineffective and the lizard is only partially inebriated? And what would I do if it fell down dead? What if it runs out towards me? - I'd get a heart attack and die. At the very least I'd get a seizure of gut busting proportions, and will end up on the floor with fresh blood spurting like free for all liquidated fireworks from my jugular.
Decided that to live with my dirty self for a night is way better than perishing in this unglamorous manner of death-by-lizard-scare. And anwyway, I bathe everyday, sometimes twice a day, so what's missing one bath in the long run? Bit of dirt never hurt anyone, it's in fact been proven to raise immunity and reduce allergies. Nothing like a childhood phobia to put things into perspective.
Yes, is it not totally hilarious, the way the Hemidactylus frenatus, known as the House Gecko, or just a normal lizard, such a tiny, ubiquitous little critter drives me to my knees, gut pulverizingly ugly as they are? From the beady black eyes, like caviar (black fish roe) bloated from inner decay, to skin the colour of bread mould, to the tapered bald tail, and worst of all that jerking side to side gait when they move, everything about the house lizard screams repugnant, nauseatingly hideous. I'm not sure of this innate loathing for the apparently friendly mosquito eating house pest, but it could stem from the baby black lizard that dropped onto my shoulder and crawled all the way down my arm when I was a kid. Once bitten, twice shy...or in this case, once scared, forever terrified.
Back, and I've never felt more like a fool armed with a bottle of fly insecticide and a rolled up wad of newspaper in each hand, standing outside the toilet, debating whether or not to whack outside the door - what if I chase the lizard further into the toilet? - or to spray it with the insecticide - what if the insecticide, which is not meant for lizards anyway, proves ineffective and the lizard is only partially inebriated? And what would I do if it fell down dead? What if it runs out towards me? - I'd get a heart attack and die. At the very least I'd get a seizure of gut busting proportions, and will end up on the floor with fresh blood spurting like free for all liquidated fireworks from my jugular.
Decided that to live with my dirty self for a night is way better than perishing in this unglamorous manner of death-by-lizard-scare. And anwyway, I bathe everyday, sometimes twice a day, so what's missing one bath in the long run? Bit of dirt never hurt anyone, it's in fact been proven to raise immunity and reduce allergies. Nothing like a childhood phobia to put things into perspective.
Friday, July 17, 2009
The second start
Well, CT results are back and as expected, my literature results are a thoroughly sickening fiasco, reflecting the results of my two-year-long indulgence in Malaysia. Not only must I suffer a gap in knowledge wider than opposite cliffs of the grand canyon upon return to sec 4, my incompetence must also be prolonged into 2009; we'll see if I don't make a igonimious failure for my A levels - at any rate, I'm determined not to, hence no more slacking around and sleeping through lit lessons - I shall get right down to honing my skill and tactic, which, I'm sure, must be somewhere - I just hope it hasn't crawled away and died like some sort of useless dustball, in which case I'd still have to excavate it with a bulldozer if need be, because no way in heck am I gonna allow another doggone subpass to mar my report.
Chemistry lessons are by and large an amusingly bellyaching affair, what with our scrawny teacher, affectionately christianed 'Cheeks' by Virunardu, tottering around the science lab, blinking his eyes and lamenting over our student quality. Take this week's chem practical.
Cheeks (exclaiming to ZY) : Hey! You! I wrote your sister a letter of reccomendation to the college she was applying to. But for you, I'll make sure to write a letter of complaint!
ZY : But, sir!
Cheeks : 'Dear college! Please do not accept any letter of application from this student! No good will come to you and only harm will befall you!'
ZY : Hey!
Cheeks : Complaint number 1! Handwriting is too big!
ZY : No lor!
Cheeks : (Absolutely in his element, and therefore showing marked enthusiasm) Complaint number 2! Does not differentiate bench top from chair top!
ZY : (hardheadedly unrepented) But that's what you advised us to do!
Cheeks : I adviced some people to do it, not you, I was referring to those who are -
Hamtaro : Vertically challenged!
Cheeks : - Hey! That's mean and insulting! (Turns to Gilbeh) By the way, I saw your birthday ccard going around, and your friends are all signing it now. Don't expect too much, it's only handmade.
(Collective outcry of indignation from Chloe and I, referring to the comment about short people and handmade cards respectively.)
ZY : (looks at me in amazement later) He has a son! I can't believe he's still acting like this!
Boys (dogs) will be boys (dogs) even over biology MCQ marks.
Vic Dog : I didn't do that badly for bio! I got the same mark as you for the structured questions!
ZY : Wahaha come on! I totally owned you for MCQ
Vic Dog : (defensively) You think so?
ZY : Of course!
Vic Dog : Yeaj? What mark did you get? ( Looks ZY up and down, as though sizing him up )
ZY : (Returns the gesture by eyeing Vic Dog up and down) I got 19 marks. (Smirk).
Vic Dog : Wha-? 19? Really? ( Sizes ZY up again )
ZY : (smug smile) Yep. You?
Vic Dog : ... 15...
Elang : Dudes? Why the need to look each other up and down?
MJ : Sizing up something other than MCQ marks, of course!
Math tutorial today was no less wild, perhaps because MJ and I weren't sleeping as per usual; MJ was infact clutching my arm and squealing nonsense into my ear. LZY assumed his supposedly stern face.
ZY : (sounding remarkably like Mr Ngan) MJ, why are you being so distractive? Sit down!
MJ : THIS FROM SOMEONE WHO FALLS ASLEEP EVERY LESSON!
ZY : At least I'm not disturbing anyone. Be quiet and concentrate.
MJ : (laughs)
ZY : Shh!
Later, ZY is called to present his answers on board, which he does so with neither flair nor aplomb, but determination all the same to take up as much space as he can ( as usual ).
Me : Whoa, write bigger abit, bigger abit!
MJ : Yeah, abit small leh, we cannot see!
Vic Dog : Wow, look at him, just conquering all the territory!
MJ : Yep, he took up 4 fifths of the board and left that puny space for the other two answers and the teacher!
Elang : All the land just kena bomb by his writing! BAM BAM BAM!
MJ : Yeah, he's so possessive! VicDog, you better be careful not to mess with his things!
(time passes, and MJ notices the state of ZY's brackets on the board.)
Vic Dog : Why, do they look like phallic symbols?
MJ : Hm. Nah. Nobody has legs that stubby ( I shall upload a photo of the brackets as soon as I can find one)
Elang : (Starts guffawing uncontrollably into ZY's face.)
ZY : (gives us all a look of insufferably exasperation and intolerance. Assumes reprimanding tone and face) MJ, they are just brackets. For goodness' sake, what is wrong with you. Elang, stop laughing. (He take Elang's shoulders and turns him around completely so that Elang doesn't face him anymore. Elang is now laughing to MJ's face.)
Funnies from the LZY
1. "...Laser printers don't use ink! It just 'iiiiiiinnnnnggg' come out of the printer..."
2. (Typo on PW notes) "Zog Yi"
3. (From economics essay) "...in a large company, researchers feel like they are small dogs..."
[I'd love to comment on the sheer (unintentional) ingenuity of this statement, the fact that it implies so many things on so many levels, but wouldn't that take all the fun out of it! ]
4. "You should try combining names together, it's damn fun. Like for example, Chelsea and Wilnard will be Chelnard! Or maybe Wilsea. Or like, Emma and Wilnard - Emnard. Hahaha! Oh wait the best will be Peter and Bernard! Penard!"
5. Wilnard : I can't be going around holding a bow and arrow...people would arrest me for being a terrorist.
ZY : Nevermind, you can just say :"I am Wilbin Hood!" (Wilnard + Robin Hood)
6. "Gay dogu chou hentai! Tessa hoshi?" (Gay dog pervert. Wish for Tessa?)
7. (While in KL)
ZY : "I'll buy some muffins for Dogtor...you know, the kind that dogs wear on their feet..."
Me : "...huh? Muffins?"
ZY : "...Uhm...yeah...I can't remember the correct word."
Me : "Do you mean mittens?"
ZY : "oh! yes."
Chemistry lessons are by and large an amusingly bellyaching affair, what with our scrawny teacher, affectionately christianed 'Cheeks' by Virunardu, tottering around the science lab, blinking his eyes and lamenting over our student quality. Take this week's chem practical.
Cheeks (exclaiming to ZY) : Hey! You! I wrote your sister a letter of reccomendation to the college she was applying to. But for you, I'll make sure to write a letter of complaint!
ZY : But, sir!
Cheeks : 'Dear college! Please do not accept any letter of application from this student! No good will come to you and only harm will befall you!'
ZY : Hey!
Cheeks : Complaint number 1! Handwriting is too big!
ZY : No lor!
Cheeks : (Absolutely in his element, and therefore showing marked enthusiasm) Complaint number 2! Does not differentiate bench top from chair top!
ZY : (hardheadedly unrepented) But that's what you advised us to do!
Cheeks : I adviced some people to do it, not you, I was referring to those who are -
Hamtaro : Vertically challenged!
Cheeks : - Hey! That's mean and insulting! (Turns to Gilbeh) By the way, I saw your birthday ccard going around, and your friends are all signing it now. Don't expect too much, it's only handmade.
(Collective outcry of indignation from Chloe and I, referring to the comment about short people and handmade cards respectively.)
ZY : (looks at me in amazement later) He has a son! I can't believe he's still acting like this!
Boys (dogs) will be boys (dogs) even over biology MCQ marks.
Vic Dog : I didn't do that badly for bio! I got the same mark as you for the structured questions!
ZY : Wahaha come on! I totally owned you for MCQ
Vic Dog : (defensively) You think so?
ZY : Of course!
Vic Dog : Yeaj? What mark did you get? ( Looks ZY up and down, as though sizing him up )
ZY : (Returns the gesture by eyeing Vic Dog up and down) I got 19 marks. (Smirk).
Vic Dog : Wha-? 19? Really? ( Sizes ZY up again )
ZY : (smug smile) Yep. You?
Vic Dog : ... 15...
Elang : Dudes? Why the need to look each other up and down?
MJ : Sizing up something other than MCQ marks, of course!
Math tutorial today was no less wild, perhaps because MJ and I weren't sleeping as per usual; MJ was infact clutching my arm and squealing nonsense into my ear. LZY assumed his supposedly stern face.
ZY : (sounding remarkably like Mr Ngan) MJ, why are you being so distractive? Sit down!
MJ : THIS FROM SOMEONE WHO FALLS ASLEEP EVERY LESSON!
ZY : At least I'm not disturbing anyone. Be quiet and concentrate.
MJ : (laughs)
ZY : Shh!
Later, ZY is called to present his answers on board, which he does so with neither flair nor aplomb, but determination all the same to take up as much space as he can ( as usual ).
Me : Whoa, write bigger abit, bigger abit!
MJ : Yeah, abit small leh, we cannot see!
Vic Dog : Wow, look at him, just conquering all the territory!
MJ : Yep, he took up 4 fifths of the board and left that puny space for the other two answers and the teacher!
Elang : All the land just kena bomb by his writing! BAM BAM BAM!
MJ : Yeah, he's so possessive! VicDog, you better be careful not to mess with his things!
(time passes, and MJ notices the state of ZY's brackets on the board.)
Vic Dog : Why, do they look like phallic symbols?
MJ : Hm. Nah. Nobody has legs that stubby ( I shall upload a photo of the brackets as soon as I can find one)
Elang : (Starts guffawing uncontrollably into ZY's face.)
ZY : (gives us all a look of insufferably exasperation and intolerance. Assumes reprimanding tone and face) MJ, they are just brackets. For goodness' sake, what is wrong with you. Elang, stop laughing. (He take Elang's shoulders and turns him around completely so that Elang doesn't face him anymore. Elang is now laughing to MJ's face.)
Funnies from the LZY
1. "...Laser printers don't use ink! It just 'iiiiiiinnnnnggg' come out of the printer..."
2. (Typo on PW notes) "Zog Yi"
3. (From economics essay) "...in a large company, researchers feel like they are small dogs..."
[I'd love to comment on the sheer (unintentional) ingenuity of this statement, the fact that it implies so many things on so many levels, but wouldn't that take all the fun out of it! ]
4. "You should try combining names together, it's damn fun. Like for example, Chelsea and Wilnard will be Chelnard! Or maybe Wilsea. Or like, Emma and Wilnard - Emnard. Hahaha! Oh wait the best will be Peter and Bernard! Penard!"
5. Wilnard : I can't be going around holding a bow and arrow...people would arrest me for being a terrorist.
ZY : Nevermind, you can just say :"I am Wilbin Hood!" (Wilnard + Robin Hood)
6. "Gay dogu chou hentai! Tessa hoshi?" (Gay dog pervert. Wish for Tessa?)
7. (While in KL)
ZY : "I'll buy some muffins for Dogtor...you know, the kind that dogs wear on their feet..."
Me : "...huh? Muffins?"
ZY : "...Uhm...yeah...I can't remember the correct word."
Me : "Do you mean mittens?"
ZY : "oh! yes."
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